October through photos

Since I haven't updated my blog in way to long I have decided to update it with all of the pictures from the month of October. A lot of things have happening and now I am documenting it.

We started off the week with General Conference and the Manteca Street Fair.

Tony has been waiting for this park to open and it finally did. He had a great time.

At the fair there were blowup rides.

He had fun on those too.

Later in the month I went on a hike with my sister, dad, and Tony. I took this picture just randomly but I have to say it is an extremely beautiful.

We hiked along this river.

The second to last weekend in October I went with my mom and Charity and Anthony to the Del Osso Family Farm and went through the corn maze

We had a really fun time finding our way through the maze. What made it even better was that we went when it was dark and we didnt use a flashlight which make it just a little bit on the creep side.

I made decorations for our door out of paper.

My sister did pretty much the same thing but decorated her whole apartment

You can find her blog post about it here.

All of us dressed up on Halloween

Caleb and Alyssa were nerds, Tony was Spiderman as always, and I was a cowgirl.

Only one of the cutest couples on the planet.

Tony being Tony =D

I spent most of Halloween carving a lot of pumpkins. I think we ended up with a total of 14 pumpkins. I didn't carve all of them but I did gut most of the them, which in my opinion is the worst part.

Caleb's witch

I did this one. Part of the month fell off so I put it back together with toothpicks.

I did this one. The design was going to be a lot better than this but I broke the carving tool so I had to do it with a giant knife.

Alyssa's pumpkin. Isn't it cute???

Half of the pumpkins all lined up.

Those same pumpkins at night all lit up.

I did this one.

These are leaves. You can't really tell but it looked pretty cool.

Bats.

Fun at Six Flags

As a family we got Six Flags season passes this year and we went all the time. It was a lot of fun and their is more than just roller coasters to enjoy. It was nice because if you were getting tired from walking around the park we could go to a show and enjoy a different part of the park. One thing that I didn't like that much is how busy it always seemed to be...but I guess there is always a perk to everything. Here are some pictures of our time at Six Flags. We would often go with the Larsons as they also had season passes.

In front of the Six Flags sign

The front gate

Some of the Roller Coasters. I believe the ones that are in this picture are Medusa, V2, and others that I cant remember the name of.

Medusa. One of the best roller coaster ever! We went to Six Flags when it was raining one day and with the speed of this coaster the rain drops felt like pebbles hitting your face as you went by. I do have to say that besides the rain that was probably the most fun I had at an amusement park

Kong. This ride isnt as fun when it's not raining.

Tony LOVES Six Flags a lot!

In the Aquarium

Shouka the Killer Whale

The Dolphin Show. Yes that is a person in the air. Those two dolphins flung him in the air.

Driving

I have had my permit for about a month and a half now. I really didn't start driving until a couple of weeks ago. I first started learning how to drive on our stick shift and I have to be honest it didn't go so well. The first time I drove it was ok. We started out i a parking lot where I could learn the basics of getting the car moving. Then we went to some country roads out behind our house so I could drive for a longer distance. Also I could proactice shifting. I was doing pretty good until we came to the end of a road and I had to turn around. My mom though I could do it but I freaked out and almost ran into a fence. I was traumatized from this experience and made my mom drive the rest of the way home.

We then went out a few weeks later and lets just say this one did not go well at all. We were once again in the stick shift in a parking lot and I did ok the first time but every time my mom would tell me to shift I would freak out and just not do it. I think I over thinking it or something I don't know. I eventually got overwhelmed after the second time of driving and just quite and broke down and started crying. I think this break down was a mixture of a lot of things. The first being that I expected a lot out of myself and when I didn't meet that expectation I got really upset. I also felt like a lot of people expected a lot out of me. At this point I felt like I was dissappointed everyone and myself. Another reason is that I was really overwhelmed. I had so much to think about, the brake, the gas, the clutch, the gears, and so much more. I just couldn't take it all in. I definitely do not think that trying to first learn to drive on a stick was a good idea. I was having to remember to do way to many things at once. I would never remember to put the clutch in because I was still trying to figure out the whole braking thing. Seriously, way to much to think about for a new driver.

So we put the car away and got out the van. The van is automatic and I did much better on it. Not so much to think about all at the same time. I have been driving a lot and instead and hating it like i used to I love it and cant drive enough. I am now jump at an opportunity to drive somewhere. I have recently started driving on the the freeway and ya its a little scary but im getting used to it. Im mostly afraid of how fast im going.

Now that I know the basics of driving im hoping to get back in the car sometime soon and try the stick shift again. I think now that the other stuff im pretty used to ill be able to focus more on the clutch and the gears. Fingers Crossed. We'll see how it turns out!

Proud to be a Mormon

Im writing this post mostly because I've recently been seeing some antimormon things on the internet. I also really wanted to write down what being a Mormon means to me and for those non-lds folks out there, what it is exactly I/we believe. Every week I'm going to choose a new topic to touch on and maybe it'll help someone or myself understand.

First off I want to start off with of my least favorite assumptions. This is something that when ever I hear it I get a little frustrated because the answer is so obvious...at least to me. This is the assumption that Mormons are not Christians. When I hear some say this I always think that it's ridiculous that anyone could believe that but then I have to remind myself that most people have not ever been to a church meeting or even met a Mormon so I have to calm myself down. Now let me explain what we really believe. The obvious answer the this question is that yes, of course Mormons are Christians. The actual name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The name "Mormons" is a nickname for the people of the church. How we got that nickname I have no idea, it may have to do with The Book of Mormon but I really have no idea. Back on topic though, Christ is right at the center of our religion. If you ever go to one our meetings you will immediately see that Christ is pretty much the center of all that we believe. In my opinion I feel that one of the reasons in this misunderstanding is that we don't have crosses on our building, nor do we wear crosses. I have to be honest as a kid I didn't understand the reasoning behind this but as i've grown older I feel that i have a little better perspective on this. Now correct me if I'm wrong (because im still learning also) but I think that the reason that we don't have crosses is because we rejoice in the resurrection and the fact that Christ is a living being today. We believe that Christ was resurrected after he was crucified. Sure a lot of other religions believe this as well but we believe that he is still living and teaching today. This subject is something that I'm still trying to figure out for myself, like I said im still learning and I will always be learning. I don't know.

Something that people question us on is the reason why we don't drink, smoke, etc. We have been given a commandment called the Word of Wisdom. In this commandment it states that we are not to partake of substances that are harmful to our body. It lists many things including drugs, alcohol, hot beverages, and others. It also states what we should partake of. It also states that we are to go to bed early and arise early. We believe that our body is like a temple. Since our bodies are an amazing gift from God we have been commanded to treat it with respect and to not put harmful things into it or on it. An image that I have always had in my mind is that you would never go up to a temple, or any other beautiful building, and write all over it, or destroy it in some way. At least I wouldn't. This is what I think of as my body. If i wouldn't destroy the temple than why would I destroy my body? One thing that is very unclear in the subject is that many think that we are forced to abide by these rules. We are never forced to do anything. It is ultimately our choice to do what ever we want. When we came to earth we were all given free agency to do anything we pleased, whether it be good or bad. Heavenly Father (God) gave us the Word of Wisdom as a guideline on how to treat our bodies but it is ultimately my choice to abide by them.

Now, what does being a Mormon mean to me? It means a lot of things. I guess I'll have to start with how it has affected me in my life. I have no idea where I would be if I didn't have this amazing church in my life. It honestly scares me to wonder what I would be like without the church. I am so grateful and feel so blessed every day for having been born into the church. Being a member has greatly affected my life. It's helped me make certain decisions. I have chosen not to swear and to dress modestly. I have had to stick up for myself with this but I dont know how I could've done with my testimony of the Gospel. I live my life the way that I live it so I can become a better person. I live my life because I know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. I have struggled a lot with finding a testimony. My testimony is definitely still growing and it grows everyday. I haven't any amazing experiences of feeling the spirit tell me the church is true but when I pray I always get this overwhelming feeling that this is right. Being a member of the church is something that just feels right. That is enough right now for me. I know that the church is true and try to believe and understand everything that is taught to me. I have to admit that I honestly don't understand everything that I hear. I don't know why I some of the things I do. I don't know all the answers. One thing I do know is that God has a plan for me and if i stay faithful and strong He'll be there for me. I don't know why I have to go through the things that I have to go through but I do know that God has a greater plan and eventually I'll understand it all. I don't know but I'm just going to keep enduring through it and hopefully I make.

There are so many ways that being a Mormon has affected me. Way to many that I can't list them all. I know that I wouldn't be the person I am today with out the church. I am who I am today because of all the things that I have been taught.

Having those little reminders that it's all going to be worth it and feeling that warm fuzzy feeling of the spirit bearing witness of something Gives Me Hope and keeps me going everyday.

"Testimony—real testimony, born of the Spirit and confirmed by the Holy Ghost—changes lives." -M. Russel Ballard

Life today and how I'm going to fix it for a better tomorrow

I know I haven't posted anything lately but it's mostly because I don't really have anything to post. At least anything that is remotely interesting or anything that is new. I mean I do pretty much the same thing everyday. I wake up (normally around 8:30), watch a movie or read, eat some breakfast, watch some tv, read, play with Tony, play on my iPad, eat some lunch, watch more tv, read some more, drive, help with dinner, eat dinner, go to room, watch movie, fall asleep watching movie. Sure I get a lot of movies and tv watched but is that something I really want to be proud of. Absolutely not! Actually writing done my daily schedule makes me really ashamed of myself for being so lazy. I made a goal today to just try harder and to do something productive everyday. I think that I might start feeling better if I start actually doing something with my life instead of wallowing in self pity every day. It probably isn't healthy at all! So my goals and how I'm going to them? Well I'm going to make a plan right now. (I just realized in write a lot of lists on this blog but it's a good way to organize my thoughts, so once again here it goes)

Today I discovered this awesome daily planner on pinterest. It is amazing! It looks like this:

and this weekly planner that looks like this:

sorry they are so big but I don't know how to get them smaller. These are both courtesy of www.life's-a-journal.com. This lady is awesome and she has more than just these organizers. You should go check out her blog!

Anyways. So my goal to use these everyday. I printed out about 30 copies of the daily planner and 4 copies of the weekly planner. I put them in a binder and so far it's fantastic. I really like it because I can record everything I need to (that i used to have to record in all different areas) all in one spot. It's awesome. It also helps me keep/ make goals. So far I am loving them! Hopefully these are going to be something that actually stick. I think these planners are going to make me way more organized productive. If that didn't top it off aren't they just so cute! They are pretty. I wish I had a talent to be able to do that with computer!

On these planners there are daily goals and daily to dos. On these I'm going all the things that I want to accomplish in that day (duh). For example, today I wrote that I wanted to make my bed and pick up my room. I also said that I wanted to go for walk. I think because they were actually written down I actually did it. It feels amazing to be sitting on a made bed in a clean bed. I feel pretty accomplished today. Even if to some people that may seem very simple, it is something that is productive for me since I haven't been very productive lately.

Just a side note. Over the years I have learned that making smaller goals and slower working up makes you feel more accomplished and your more likely to succeed. So by making the goal to just make my bed today I accomplished my goal easy. It was something that i knew I could accomplish and tomorrow my goal is the keep my room clean, make my bed, and clean my bathroom. See how all I did was add something. This is the way that i have learned to make goals. I take baby steps, one day at time. This is also the plan that I'm going to take with my new exercise/ diet plan. Make easy goals that aren't to far out of reach. Such as instead of cutting sugar out of my diet, although that is my long term goal, my goal for right now is to cut down on the sugar, only have one cookie instead of three. Something that is going to be just enough of a challenge that I know I will feel better about myself at the end of the day instead of regretting that I didn't do anything at all that day. It is a great way for me to be productive.

So since this post is starting to get slightly long and it's getting late I'm going to end it.

Reaching my goals GMH

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer.

Ok, I have to save this really fast. When I find my quotes I just look up a subject on brain quotes and then choose the best one. This specific quote really spoke to me tonight. Mostly because it is so true. It is my choice everyday to not do anything and feel miserable or I could motivate myself and feel a little bit better about myself.

One of God's greatest creations (in my opinion)

 Overlooking the valley

 My amazing brother and his beautiful girlfriend

 The awesome Larson family and their exchange student

 Aren't they the cutest couple you've ever seen?

 I really liked this house for some weird reason. It was sitting in the middle of a beautiful field.

 The first picture of the Yosemite Falls

 I love this kid so much!

 Just some logs

 The river

 The river flowing away from the falls. We have never seen it this full!

 So pretty!

 This is by far my favorite pictures. It's so beautiful!

 Me and my family

 I still can't get over how pretty these falls are!

 The entire falls

 So magnificent

 The lower falls

 Larson Family!

I don't like the way that the new blogger is set up and I can't figure so I would have liked to put this explanation at the top but couldn't figure out how with the photos so I'm putting it here. I'll play around with it a little more and see if I can figure it out.
These are pictures from our trip to Yosemite in July with the Spain exchange students. This trip to Yosemite was one of my favorites ever. Yosemite was exceptionally beautiful this year because of all the rain/snow we've gotten this year. The rivers were so full which made the waterfalls amazing and more glorious than ever. It really was a magnificent thing to see. Yosemite is always beautiful but this day it was just unbelievably beautiful. The whole time I was there I kept marveling on how wonderful God's creations are. God really is an amazing person for creating this beautiful earth for us to live in and going to Yosemite was just another way for me to have that written into my brain.

Insecurites

Ok I am extremely insecure about so many things it's ridiculous. I dont think I'm that pretty, I feel like I have a weird personality, I don't have many friends, and many more but I feel like the all come down to the big notion of being accepted. I feel that I haven't been accepted in the past and so going into new environments scare me to death. I'm always afraid that people aren't going to accept me for who I am. I guess I'll kind of go through the entire background of where all of these feelings have come from.

It all really started in 6th grade. Since my family moved the following year and we were now in a new school boundaries I had to go to a new school for 6th grade. Now this was one of hardest things I've had to do. Before this I never considered myself shy but I think this where I got some of my shyness from. It was really hard for me to approach someone and talk to them and yet no one was talking to me. I spent the first couple of months either by myself or hanging out with my younger brother and his friends because I couldn't seem to make any of my own. As the year progressed I went from one group of people to the other...never really feeling like I belonged. At the end of 6th grade I started hanging out with some of the more popular kids in the 6th grade but even then I never really felt fully accepted.

In middle school I started the year hanging out with these friends and some of my old friends from my first elementary school. But once again didnt really fully feel accepted. With the kids from 6th grade, they had all known each other since kindergarten and I still felt like the new kid. With my friends from DeVargas I felt out of place because they had spent a year with out me and seemed to get along with out me just fine. Eventually I settled in with hanging out with some of my "less popular" (even though I really didn't care at all whether or not they were popular). I enjoyed hanging out with them for the most part but I felt like I only clicked with a small handful of them and I had one friend (we'll call her suzzy) that was pretty much my rock in that group. She was really the only person I felt truly accepted by in middle school. Until we got a girl (we'll call her Pam) from France come in the middle of eighth grade. She was really shy and worried about making friends so I befriended her and we seemed to hit it off quite nicely...or so I thought. The two of these friends pretty much made my group of real friends until they started to criticize the fact that I didn't swear, or I never wore immodest clothing, or that I didn't go to the dances because I wasn't comfortable there. They started to question my beliefs and started calling me a "goody goody". Ok ya so what if I am? If they were truly my friends they would accept me for who I am and not ask questions right? But no they started tearing me down and so cone again I didn't feel accepted.

So now going into high school. Suzzy moved and went to another schol across down so it was just down to Pam and I. Pam started to hang out with other people that I wasn't comfortable around so I started to hang around with the other Mormon folk at Tino. I was ok here but at the beginning I still didn't feel completely comfortable because they were all older than me and my best friend from church was in a grade younger than me. So I kind of once again was just there to make it look like I sorta had friends but I really didnt. Eventually I started to grow this great friendship with Carolyn Dye (she is up to this day my very best friend). Carolyn was there for me and I have no idea how to thank her for being there in my crazy emotional roller coaster. I love you so much. Anyways. In December two of my best friends who I hadn't seen in 5 years because they moved came back to California for a semester of school. To make a super duper long story short I started to like my best guy friend and he liked me too. (i was nt planning on sharing this but here it goes) with this guy liking me I started to feel more and more accepted. I had Carolyn and Brenna and this guy. Things were going great. I also started to feel more accepted at church dances because we hada pretty big group there. I felt truly happy for once. Well then comes summer and these two friends had to go home. Ya now this was hard but I still had Carolyn.

Nothing really eventful happened sophomore year other than the fact that I felt more and more out of place with my peers. It felt like the more and more I spent away from them there more and a more they seemed to not want anything to do with me. These are people that I actually thought I was sorta friends with. Turns out I was wrong. I started being that person in class that when you were doing a group activity I was the one with out a group or a partner. People never really talked to me in class. Once again I no longer felt accepted. Not to mention the fact that this was about the time that the guy I mentioned early started to like a girl from where he lived. So now I feel lonelier than I had ever felt. This is a big reason behind my attendance record. I sort of stopped caring about my school work. Many days I would wake up and feel like it just wasn't worth going to school. I would pretend that I was sick and stay in bed all day just by myself. As time went on it got worse and worse. This continued through junior year. Pretty much the same thing just getting worse as it was confirmed upon me that I really didn't have any true friends that i could just talk to besides Carolyn. Little did I know it was about to get even harder.

Senior year. Senior year pretty much started out bad from the beginning. Over the summer I gained a lot of weight because I am an emotional eater. At the time I didn't realize it but i know I am now. I gained a lot of weight because I was so down all the time because I didn't have any friends and didn't feel accepted. There were even times when I didn't feel accepted in my own family or home. Anyways when senior started I was alredy super insecure because of my weight gain and not to mention the fact that I no longer had Carolyn because she had graduated and was off to BYU. I knew before senior year started that it was going to be tough. And it was!

It was about Novemeber when my parents started talking about moving. It started out with moving ot Evanston, WY. I though great this can be a new start for me. People who haven't known me my entire life, it's going to be great. Well Evanston fell through because my dad couldn't get a job so we started looking at houses in the Tracy, CA area. We ended up buying a house and moving in March of this past year. (this is going to be the hardest part to write). Moving in march wasn't really the best time to move...especially in your senior year of high school. There were only 2 1/2 months left of school and Manteca is one of those cities where everyone grew up together. At least that's what it felt like when I got here. Our ward is pretty small and I didn't feel accepted at all (i still dont really). I once again felt so out of place. Here are all these people who have known each other for I dont know how long and I'm the new girl. I hate being the new girl. I like my old ward where I was that person that knew everyone. I was in my old ward since I was born. It was so hard to leave them and then to come to Manteca and feel so out of place. All I wanted to do was just go back home! But I knew that was out of the picure. It was really hard for me to compete with Caleb. I know that partially my fault and I shouldn't blame him but it was hard for me to make friends when he was there. Caleb and I are complete opposites. He is super out going and good at putting himself out there and I'm just not. I'm shy and am afraid of being judged. So here's Caleb making all of these friends and he even gets a girlfriend and I once again get left in the shadows. A lot of times I feel like people can't see me...once again I didn't feel accepted. To get away from all of this I decided to go to Idaho with my sister for three weeks. Well when i came back it was worse. Caleb by then had all of these friends and I had zero. He was getting invited to all these things and I wasn't. I used to raise my hand in seminary to answer questions but now I just wasn't comfortable doing even that. The only people I truly felt accepted by were the Larsons and I thank them for that. They make me feel better when they invite me over to go to their house. When they take that extra mile to include me. Thank you April, Alyssa, and Anny for loving me. You really have gotten through all of this. Its the prospect of seeing you guys say hi to me that gets me church on days that I just don't want to face the world. I love you guys and once again thank you for loving me for who I am. I don't know if you guys will read but seriously thank you so much.

I still find myself wanting to go back "home" to Cupertino. Back to the Stevens Creek Ward. But even that has changed. My world is changing and I dont know how to deal with it.

Now I am facing the future. I am considering going to the single ward but then I wonder if I'm going to have to g through what I went through when we moved. I don't know if i could do that again. I know that's it's probably the only way that I'm going to be able to make friends and meet a guynbut still the whole thing scares me so much because all I want is to be accepted. That's all.

Today in Young Womens we had a lesson on being a friend. That's what pretty much inspired this blog because I've been thinking about friends today. I realized something today. I've been waiting for people to befriend me. To smile at me. But maybe if I took that easy step of smiling at someone or saying to someone maybe I could befriend some one. That lesson today was exactly what I needed to near and it GMH

April, Alyssa, and Anny...you guys GMH that I can be myself and people are going to like me for who I am.

Carolyn thank you so much for being my best friend and letting me be myself and for not judging me. Thank you for listening to me and being there for me when i was upset. Thanks for making me smile. I love you so much and I miss you terribly. You GMH

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."-Elbert Hubbard

My non existent future/ what to do next...

Welcome to my brain. The following are things that have gone through my brain in the past couple of days. I've been thinking a lot of what to do next. A phrase that goes through my mind quite frequently is, I've graduated from high school...now what? For the longest time my goal has been graduate from high school, graduate from high school. Well I did that and i have no idea what to do now. I've waited so for the day that I could be an adult and make my own decisions about the rest of my life. Now that I'm here I'm so scared and lost. I thought I had everything figured out but the mo I think about I think of all the other things I could do. I've changed the type of career I want a thousand times because I second guess myself every few days. Let's just real quick go through all the options I've considered. (in order of time)

1.) My very first "real" career goal was to be a wedding planner. I love weddings and everything about them and I thought it would awesome to help out others on that very special day but the recession and all that good stuff kinda crashed that dream. I do sometimes return to this dream and think maybe I should just try but yaaaaa no. 

2.) After years of this whole "wedding planner" ordeal I decided to become a doctor, specifically an OBGYN. But you know all that schooling and bloode and stuff....ya not really my thing. 

3.) sooooo onto career number three! A secretary! Yup you read that right a secretary! Now call me absolutely insane but I love paperwork! I know weird huh? I've always sorta wanted to be a secretary for some very weird reason. The whole dressing up always getting to wear skirts and heels really appealed to me...ya once again not so sure about that one. Well eventually this career choice evolved into...

4.) ...option #4. wahoo! I think we're half way done with Miranda's career options! So option number was a medical assistant of some kind. The thing that appealed to me about this job was the fact that I could still be in the medical field and still be a secretary all at the same time! The point in time when I came up with this idea was when i was at my orthodontist office scheduling my next appointment and I thought that it would be really fun to do that. This job is probably the job I go back to the most (and the job I'll probably end up doing but we'll get to that later). This job really appeals to me and excites me and I feel I'd be happy and good at a job like this. My dream job is actually to work in the ER or something as a receptionist. 

5.) Healthcare Administrator. When I was researching vocational schools to learn more about option number 4 I came across a school in Utah that offers healthcare administration. So of course I was interested and researched it. Well this appealed to me even more than the last because not even do I get to combine the doctor and secretary but I get to be the big man. And sure that's still 6 more years of school but hey this seriously could be it. After a little of bit of making this my dream I went back to option number four but when I went to Idaho a couple of months ago I found out that BYU-I actually offers a healthcare administration bachelors degree. Ok are you serious? Now I get to combine my two dream jobs, be "the man", and now I get to go to my dream school to get there! Heck yes I'm all for it! Oh wait I have no money, haven't taken the ACT, and didn't get that great of grades in high school. Well bummer...dream crashed! At least for the time being. 

6.) So since I still really want to do option 5 I was tossing up ideas of how to earn enough money to go to school next summer. After a lot of days of thought I decided to try to find a nannying job. So I listed myself on all kinds of nannying websites hoping that someone would contact me. I also contacted families that I was interested in hoping to find a great job and earn lots of money. But ya I've never once gotten an email back... :( isn't that ridiculous? I mean seriously! I'm awesome! Maybe is has something to do with the slight lack of experience.....  
Ok something that bugs me about these websites is that when a family contacts us (the nannies) we are required to reply to every single message (ya this took forever because I had tons...heavy sarcasm), even just to say we aren't interested. don't you think that families should have that some rule? Maybe they do but they obviously don't follow them! Which I dont think is very fair. I kinda would like to know what you think even if your not interested. Anyways I'm done ranting about that. 
With the failure of the nannying idea (which I'm still pretty bummed about and am still hoping so if you know of anyone searching for a live in nanny Im willing to move anywhere so please have them consider me!) I decided to go with fulltime babysitting. I got a little bit of a better response but still people need to learn how to answer their emails or something! I ended up with a semi fulltime babysitting job. What I mean by this is that for the first two weeks of august I get to act like a dare care for a one year old while the day care is on vacation. This is a great start and will give me somewhat of resume but it also sucks because I'm only getting paid $165 a week and when calculated thats only $3.3 dollars an hour. If I was working for minimum wage I would have made $400 this week! Ya I think it's kinda a rip off. Especially since I'm working my butt off trying to keep up with this very active one year old for 10 hours everyday! I'm hoping that this will help me get a better more permanent job somewhere...

Soooooo I go between options 3-6 all the time. I can never figure out which one i really want to do and go back and forth between career paths.  So if you have any suggestions feel free to tell me cause I can use all the help I can get!