Change

It's been over six months since I've written anything on here. To be honest life has been pretty hard over the last couple of months and that saying from Bambi kept popping in the head, "If you can't say something once don't say anything at all." Or however it goes. I didn't necessarily have anything mean to say just negative and I didn't want to dump that on here. I try to be positive so I chose not to say anything. I'm far enough past the hard stuff (life is still hard though) to finally post something. 

First things first I have a different job. It has been wonderful! I started this job at the end of August. Changing jobs was kinda crazy! In the beginning of August a friend some church asked me if I would be interested in babysitting the kids she babysits since she was going off to school. At first I said no because I already had a job. The more I thought about it the more I felt like it was a good decision to take the opportunity. Well I ended up meeting with this family and immediately fell in love! Walking into this house was seriously a breath of fresh air! At my old job I was starting to feel very taken advantage of. The lady I was working for really wanted me to be her. It was very frustrating. I felt like no matter what I did it would never be good enough for her. It was very discouraging and making think I wasn't a very good person. Even the 7 year old would say things that would make me feel bad. I wasn't able to play with him as I (or he) would have liked because she had me doing so much housework. I seriously felt so overwhelmed all the time. It was not a good place to be in but I was used to it and thought that this was what I was stuck with. It has been amazing coming back to this new job because i feel appreciated. That sounds selfish but it makes me want to come back. I am now working for 3 different families and I love it! I only work for each family a couple hours a day. My days are much shorter and I'm not feeling so overwhelmed. I feel like I can be a person again and have time to focus on what I need not what they need. That sounds really selfish when I wrote it but I feel like everyone needs a couple of minutes in a day to be selfish and focus on themselves. I have spent a lot of time reading the script useless and figuring out who I am and who The Lord is. It has been amazing! I didn't get to do that before! Anyways just thought I'd let you know how much I live my new job and what I was feeling. It's been a very nice change.