Hello World

For some reason this week has been a really hard week. I really don't know why. I started off the week by going to The beach and then Santa Cruz beach boardwalk and had some bonding time with Tony. It was a great day. After that I had a lot of down time and time to myself to clean my room and just to think. Maybe it was all the down time with nothing to do that has made me so cranky i don't know. What I do know is I'm in one of those moods that littles thing makes me upset and I'm very snappy. I don't know what's causing it. Most of the time I have something behind the reason why I'm so upset but today I just don't...

On a happier not I have four more value experiences and need to finish reading the book of mormon and then I am done with my Personal Progress! I'm hoping to get those two experiences done in the next couple of weeks and then hopefully have the book of Mormon finished by then as well. I don't know we'll see! I'm sooooooo close! The end is sight. I have learned so much from personal progress it is amazing!

First off these past couple of weeks with actually reading the book of Mormon I have found the simple pleasures in reading the scriptures. I have never ever been diligent with reading my scriptures until the last couple of weeks. I am reading the book of Mormon with a tape that reads it to me and I follow along and mark scriptures that pop out at me and write things down that pop into my head. It really has been amazing. Somedays I just get so caught up in it that hi realize I've read ten chapters without even noticing. Scripture reading has never been this simple for me. I used to think of it as a chore, but now I look forward to the time that I get to be myself and read more about Christ and the people in the Americas. I have to admit that i am still in Jacob which isn't that far because I haven't been super diligent about doing it everyday but Jacob is the farthest I've ever been in the book of mormon. I just can't get over the fact that I used to hate reading the scriptures and now I absolutely love them! It seriously is amazing!

2.) I've learned diligence. It takes a lot of patience and diligence to complete some of The things in the Personal Progress book. But it has helped me learn how rewarded it is to stick to one thing and finish it before moving on to something else. I have enjoyed everyone of my projects even though some of them felt like they would never get done. It really is an amazing program. And yes it's taken me longer than some to complete it but all my hard work has paid off and I set a goal when I was 12 that I would finish it and I'm going to stick to that goal and get it done. I am so proud of myself for getting through it.

3.) I've learned why all the values are important to me.
The first value is faith. For my faith project i played a song on the piano called "I have not seen yet I believe". This song is amazing! The entire song is dedicated to the fact that christ did all these amazing things and though I was not there to see him nailed to the cross, I was not there to see him heal all the people He healded, I did not see Him feed the five thousand, and most importantly I did not see Him rise from the dead yet I still know in my heart that He did all of these things for me and for you. That is what faith is to me. It is simply believing without seeing. For the longest time I didn't understand that but as of right now i do. I know that christ suffered for my sins and that i can be forgiven of all the mistakes I make, big or small. I know that He will always be there for me. I know that He has gone through every single thing I have and will go through. I know that He will come again and it is coming sooner than some of you may think. I know that he was resurrected and that because of this I will be resurrected. I know that he lives and that even though I can't imagine how it's possible I know that i am going to live forever because of what he did for me. I have not seen all the amazing things he has done and yet I believe. Wow until this moment I didn't realize all the amazing things he has done.
Divine Nature. I have learned that I am divine and that I am a beautiful daughter of my heavenly father. I have divine nature as a woman. I am supposed to be a mother and a homemaker. For my project I made a Jean quilt for my sister. It was a good skill to learn and it something I can use in my future home.
Individual Worth. "Remember the worthnof souls is great in the sight of God." That pretty much sums it up. I have learned that I individually have worth and that I am a princess with Heavnely Father as my King and father. I am a child of God. I know I am and no one can take that from me. For my individual worth project I participated in my dad's readers theater about my ancestors. I learn more about where I came from.
Knowledge. I learned how to be a good mother and that even though I am now out of high school I don't get to just stop learning. I will have the opportunity to learn and gain more and more knowledge each and everyday. For my project I helped my mom with foster care. By doing this I learned how to take care of kids and a home.
Choice and Accoutablilty. I learned that how to use my free agency wisely. I have to admit that I didn't learn much from this part because I was already doing the things in it. One thing i did learn was that I wasn't being forced to do the things I did. I wasn't being forced to dress modestly, or not drink caffeine, or not swear. I learned that these were all guidelines of how to live and it was ultimately my decision to choose the way i wanted to live. This put a whole different perspective on agency for me. My project for choice and accountability was redoing my room. I made comforters, pillows, and painted my room. Sadly I dint think I ever got pictures of my completed room but it was fantasic. Along with this I reorganized my room.
Good Works. "Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Need I say more? For my project I babysit for enrichment for a year. This gave me the opportunity to do service to others in our ward and have a fun time with the kids.
Integrity. I learned to be honest with my fellow men. To not cheat, not to gossip, and not lie. I learned that honesty is the key. For my project I participated in Starz on Stage. This is a dance group. I committed myself to being there at every rehearsal and every performance. I fulfilled this and was grateful for it. I was never behind in a dance and didn't disappoint my teacher.
Virtue. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." ummm ya that's about it. I haven't finished this project yet but I am reading the book of Mormon.

I learned a lot more from personal progress but since this already such an insane post I'm going to end here.

The amazing young womans and personal progress programs GMH

"Stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord comes" -D&C 87:8

Side note: its amazing how this post started super negative and ended positive and how much better I feel now that I did that. :D

Now off to some BOM reading! ;)

Hard Day

This is something i just need to rant about and is really hard for me to admit...

The fact is I am extremely insecure. I don't know why but I am. I am slightly over weight and haven't felt pretty in a long time. Today was one of those days that those insecurities got to me. I went shopping at the mall with my mom and I find all of these super cute clothes that I fall in love with. The hard thing is when I try them on they don't look good on me because they were designed for girls who don't really exist. I wonder all the time why I can't just be one of those girls who can eat anything they want and still stay super thin. I think that if I was even 10 pounds lighter I'd feel better about myself. And ya I have trie eating better and exercising but I get discouraged to quickly because I don't feel like there is any difference. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I'll never be skinny. Today I once again came to the realization that I love clothes and love to shop but I hate to shop for myself. It takes an eternity to find something that has potential to look good on me and then I feel like its not the "in" thing to be wearing what I'm wearing. I don't know. I also hate having my picture. When I see a picture of myself I see what I feel inside. I don't think I'm that pretty and it's hard to see myself in a picture and have that shown in my face. A lot of times I find myself looking at pictures of when I was a freshman. I was pretty then. I tend to put these pictures up as my profile picture on Facebook. They are also all over my walls. It's in these pictures that I truly felt happy and the most myself. I think i really do just need to accept the fact that the weight isn't just going to come off on it's own, I'm going to have to work for what I want...

Another thing that sorta led up to this is when i was reading my cousin's blog. My cousin is a runner and she serisouly inspires me. She runs over 4 miles a day and does a full work out. It's ridiculous. I have always had this secret ambition to be a runner but the truth is I've never bee that good at it. I try to run and I can barely get around the block. I am so out of shape that i feel like that 1/2 mile isn't doing anything but that is all i can do. I want to be healthier I really do but sometimes it's hard...

Ok i think I'm done ranting now. Some good things that came out of today is that I got a new comforter for my bed that actually fits. It's brown. Boring I know but I love it! I also got a white board so I can write upliffting notes to myself. I got a planner so I can keep track of my oh so crazy life, which consists of really nothing. I got a super cute purse and super cute jewelry. So overall I think it was a pretty dang good day. I also finished putting my room back together. I organized my bathroom and cleaned off my desk. I really do have to say that my room looks pretty fantastic!

My friends and family that support through my craziness GMH

"The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours"

GMH and Quote

I realized that in my past posts I forgot to say a quote and something that gives me hope.


Today I finished a friends album I started at girls camp two years ago. I finally put pictures in it! When I was making this album I really started to miss my friends and remembered all the amazing things they do for me. My fiends old and new GMH


"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." - Elizabeth Foley

Talk

I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting about a month ago. My topic was prayer. This is a copy of the talk. Talk on Prayer Good Morning brothers and sisters. For those of you who don't know me I am Miranda Wardle and my family and I moved into this ward about three months ago. I was asked to speak on the topic of prayer. In Doctrine and Covenants 19:28 it reads, "And again, I command thee that thou shalt pray vocally as well as I thy heart; yea before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private." We are commanded to pray. Not only when we are asked to in meetings but we are commanded to have our own personal prayers. We are also commanded to say meaningful prayers. In Elder Bednar's talk at General Conference in April 2008 entitled "Ask in Faith" he states, "Meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work...As we speak of prayer, I emphasize the word meaningful. Simply saying prayers is quite a different thing from engaging in meaningful prayer. I expect that all of us already know that prayer is essential for our spiritual development and protection. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. And even though we recognize the importance of prayer, all of us can improve the consistency and efficacy of our personal and family prayers." Meaningful prayer doesn't include repetition and saying the same thing every night before you go to bed. Meaning prayer is thanking Heavenly Father for all the many blessings you have received with a humble heart, it is asking Him for things that are relevant in your life at that specific time, it is seeking to know the answers to questions you have at that specific time. It is asking in faith. In Doctrine and Covenants 8:10, it reads, Remember that without faith you can do nothing; therefore ask in faith. Trifle not with these things; do not ask for that which you ought not. We are to ask in faith. When we prayer we must put our faith in God that he will answer our prayers and he will. On lds.org if you search prayer one of the first things that comes up us this, "We are all children of God. He loves us and knows our needs, and He wants us to communicate with Him through prayer. We should pray to Him and no one else. The Lord Jesus Christ commanded, “Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name” (3 Nephi 18:19). As we make a habit of approaching God in prayer, we will come to know Him and draw ever nearer to Him. Our desires will become more like His. We will be able to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that He is ready to give if we will but ask in faith." We must learn to pray for all things. We need Heavenly Father's helpt in all that we do. President Spencer W. Kimball said... We must turn to Him in all things. Lately my brother and I have been not getting along very well. This is normal family behavior but I was starting to notice that our constant fighting was effected the rest of the household. This week I challenged myself to be patient with my brother and try to be kinder to him. I knew that I was not going to be able to do this on my own so I asked my Heavenly Father for help to be able to do these things. I immediately noticed that things that normally would bug me weren't so bad anymore. When he did do something I didn't like instead of yelling at him I tried to explain why I didn't like what he was doing or I would leave the room. In Elder Bednar's talk he shares this story. " Several years ago there was a young father who had been active in the Church as a boy but had chosen a different path during his teenage years. After serving in the military, he married a lovely girl, and soon children blessed their home. One day without warning their little four-year-old daughter became critically ill and was hospitalized. In desperation and for the first time in many years, the father was found on his knees in prayer, asking that the life of his daughter be spared. Yet her condition worsened. Gradually, this father sensed that his little girl would not live, and slowly his prayers changed; he no longer prayed for healing but rather for understanding. "Let Thy will be done" was now the manner of his pleadings. Soon his daughter was in a coma, and the father knew her hours on earth were few. Fortified with understanding, trust, and power beyond their own, the young parents prayed again, asking for the opportunity to hold her close once more while she was awake. The daughter's eyes opened, and her frail arms reached out to her parents for one final embrace. And then she was gone. This father knew their prayers had been answered-a kind, compassionate Father in Heaven had comforted their hearts. God's will had been done, and they had gained understanding." Sometimes Heavenly Father may have a different path than we had hoped for or the answer may be no, but as in this story we must find the courage and faith to stop persisting and instead ask for understanding or to change our prayers to having Heavenly Father's will to be done not our own. In Doctrine and Covenants 9: 8-9 it reads, " But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it is right and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feeling, bur you shall have a stupor of thought that've shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong." In closing I would like to share an excerpt from President Hinckley's book, Way to Be. In the section under be prayerful he states, " You cannot do it alone...You need His help, and you know that you need His help. You cannot do it alone. You will come to realize that and recognize it more and more as the years pass. Live so that in good conscience you can speak with God. Get on your knees and thank Him for His goodness to you and express to Him the righteous desires of your hearts. The miracle of it all is that He hears. He responds. He answers-not always as we might wish He would answer but there is not question or doubt in my mind that He answers." I know that if we turn to our Heavenly Father with the righteous desires of our hearts he will help each and everyone of us. I know that if I pray in faith I will receive answers. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Room Back!

Today my my sister and her husband left to back to Idaho after spending most of the summer with, Ty was here since April. This was a very bitter-sweet departure. I love my sister and her husband and had a great time having them here. The house already feels super empty without them here and I am already missing them. We did a lot of great stuff together and felt like wee bonded a lot. This is the bitter part. The sweet part is the fact that I get my room back! I haven't really been able to appreciat my room since April...that is a really long time to go without my sanctuary. My favorite place is my room and having it gone has been really hard for me. My room is my space where I can be by myself and do whatever I want to do. Not having that these past three months has been seriously hard. I haven't really had a place to just be by myself. It is seriously great to have that back. Not to mention the fact that Ty helped decorate my room and it looks amazing! Natalia and Ty found these awesome old windows that Ty hung on my wall. One of them is behind my head with sheets acting as a head board and the other one is on the adjacent wall with a ton of (empty) picture frames around it. I absolutely love it and would have never that of it on my own. I will have to post a picture of my room once I get my camera back. With the return of my room I have been reorganzing it and moving all my stuff back into it. It has been a full days work but it feels so good to have everything back in. Now I need to figure out what im going to put in the empty picture and what I'm going to do with my bead and then I really will have an awesome room!

"Going Public"

So I've had this blog for a couple of months and at first it was pretty much just for myself but now I'm thinking about letting others read it and maybe that'll help me keep it positive. One of my main reasons in letting others read this is because there is a lot/ will be a lot of who I am in here. I treat this blog as my journal and there are some things in here that are very personal and close to my heart which is part of the reason why I haven't announced the fact that I have a blog until now. It is your choice if you want to read every blog post or just one or none at all but if you are going to read this I ask that you respect my opinions and when I need to rant about something I'm going to rant about it. I want people to read this and learn a different side of me and maybe through me you can learn something but I don't want be to torture me or make fun or say any mean things on here. This is my place to write my thoughts so please respect that.

Today I found an app on my iPad called GMH which stands for Gives Me Hope. I found this app/site very interested. This site is a place where people can state the people that give them hope and why. I think it is a great site and a great lesson. It shows me that in the darkest hour of ones life one can still find hope in a person or tiny event or something else in their life. It's so amazing to me and makes me want to make me be more positive about not so bad life.

If you didn't/don't read my very first post in my blog I have a few rules for my blogs. I have to stay positive, or at least end on a positive note, and I have to end each post with an uplifting quote. This is to help me stay positive after rants and when I feel down I ma forced to look for some light in my life. I am going to add one more rule to this list, I am going to start saying something that gives me hope at the end of each blog so I can see the light in my life already. I feel that this will help me even more through my struggles. I have other rules but I haven't really kept up with them but I am going to try harder. I have been pretty bad about writing at least once a week, i havent written since April, so I am going to try to do better at that.

In conclusion of this long blog post I would just like to thank all of you for just looking at this blog, even if it was just boredom or curiousity. It means a lot that you could be doing something else and instead you are reading this. I don't really care who/ how many people read this. Even if no one does or just one person writing this still helps me and I really enjoy it. So once again thanks.

All the amazing people in my life, GMH

Quote of the Day: "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving." - Dale Carnegie

Just as a side note I write blogs by writing what's in my head. Sometimes random ideas/things pop up. This blog doesn't have proper grammar and it probably seems very unorganized. But I really do write thoughts that pop into my head sometimes it took a couple of thoughts to get there so it may seem the thought came out of nowhere but it didn't. I apologize if all this seems sporadic and random but that's just how it's going to be.