My non existent future/ what to do next...

Welcome to my brain. The following are things that have gone through my brain in the past couple of days. I've been thinking a lot of what to do next. A phrase that goes through my mind quite frequently is, I've graduated from high school...now what? For the longest time my goal has been graduate from high school, graduate from high school. Well I did that and i have no idea what to do now. I've waited so for the day that I could be an adult and make my own decisions about the rest of my life. Now that I'm here I'm so scared and lost. I thought I had everything figured out but the mo I think about I think of all the other things I could do. I've changed the type of career I want a thousand times because I second guess myself every few days. Let's just real quick go through all the options I've considered. (in order of time)

1.) My very first "real" career goal was to be a wedding planner. I love weddings and everything about them and I thought it would awesome to help out others on that very special day but the recession and all that good stuff kinda crashed that dream. I do sometimes return to this dream and think maybe I should just try but yaaaaa no. 

2.) After years of this whole "wedding planner" ordeal I decided to become a doctor, specifically an OBGYN. But you know all that schooling and bloode and stuff....ya not really my thing. 

3.) sooooo onto career number three! A secretary! Yup you read that right a secretary! Now call me absolutely insane but I love paperwork! I know weird huh? I've always sorta wanted to be a secretary for some very weird reason. The whole dressing up always getting to wear skirts and heels really appealed to me...ya once again not so sure about that one. Well eventually this career choice evolved into...

4.) ...option #4. wahoo! I think we're half way done with Miranda's career options! So option number was a medical assistant of some kind. The thing that appealed to me about this job was the fact that I could still be in the medical field and still be a secretary all at the same time! The point in time when I came up with this idea was when i was at my orthodontist office scheduling my next appointment and I thought that it would be really fun to do that. This job is probably the job I go back to the most (and the job I'll probably end up doing but we'll get to that later). This job really appeals to me and excites me and I feel I'd be happy and good at a job like this. My dream job is actually to work in the ER or something as a receptionist. 

5.) Healthcare Administrator. When I was researching vocational schools to learn more about option number 4 I came across a school in Utah that offers healthcare administration. So of course I was interested and researched it. Well this appealed to me even more than the last because not even do I get to combine the doctor and secretary but I get to be the big man. And sure that's still 6 more years of school but hey this seriously could be it. After a little of bit of making this my dream I went back to option number four but when I went to Idaho a couple of months ago I found out that BYU-I actually offers a healthcare administration bachelors degree. Ok are you serious? Now I get to combine my two dream jobs, be "the man", and now I get to go to my dream school to get there! Heck yes I'm all for it! Oh wait I have no money, haven't taken the ACT, and didn't get that great of grades in high school. Well bummer...dream crashed! At least for the time being. 

6.) So since I still really want to do option 5 I was tossing up ideas of how to earn enough money to go to school next summer. After a lot of days of thought I decided to try to find a nannying job. So I listed myself on all kinds of nannying websites hoping that someone would contact me. I also contacted families that I was interested in hoping to find a great job and earn lots of money. But ya I've never once gotten an email back... :( isn't that ridiculous? I mean seriously! I'm awesome! Maybe is has something to do with the slight lack of experience.....  
Ok something that bugs me about these websites is that when a family contacts us (the nannies) we are required to reply to every single message (ya this took forever because I had tons...heavy sarcasm), even just to say we aren't interested. don't you think that families should have that some rule? Maybe they do but they obviously don't follow them! Which I dont think is very fair. I kinda would like to know what you think even if your not interested. Anyways I'm done ranting about that. 
With the failure of the nannying idea (which I'm still pretty bummed about and am still hoping so if you know of anyone searching for a live in nanny Im willing to move anywhere so please have them consider me!) I decided to go with fulltime babysitting. I got a little bit of a better response but still people need to learn how to answer their emails or something! I ended up with a semi fulltime babysitting job. What I mean by this is that for the first two weeks of august I get to act like a dare care for a one year old while the day care is on vacation. This is a great start and will give me somewhat of resume but it also sucks because I'm only getting paid $165 a week and when calculated thats only $3.3 dollars an hour. If I was working for minimum wage I would have made $400 this week! Ya I think it's kinda a rip off. Especially since I'm working my butt off trying to keep up with this very active one year old for 10 hours everyday! I'm hoping that this will help me get a better more permanent job somewhere...

Soooooo I go between options 3-6 all the time. I can never figure out which one i really want to do and go back and forth between career paths.  So if you have any suggestions feel free to tell me cause I can use all the help I can get!